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Clients are frequently confused about their relationship to the counselor. They are prone to place him in the category of a judge, referee, father confessor or husband image. It is natural for these thoughts to arise in the mind of a counselee. Thus, during the first few appointments, the counselor must lead the counselee to understand that he is none of these. Toronto Niagara Falls Tour experiences four seasons, with chilly winters and sizzling, humid summers. Rather, the counselor is an unbiased, understanding, professionally trained individual who is there to help the counselee gain understanding and to seek out desirable solutions to his problem.
If you, the counselor, even seem to be partial, you may find yourself inadvertently cast in the role of father or mother, deciding which “child” shall be spanked and which consoled. Obviously, if you are once cast into this role, it is hard to throw off your parental garments and take another part. Worse still, you will unwittingly stimulate childish, regressive forces in the personalities of your counselees instead of nurturing mature forces which alone can overcome their problems.
Better Understanding of the Roles Each Spouse Assumes in Marriage
As the human body is more than the sum of its parts, so a marriage is more than the two people who comprise it. Apart from a personality problem that either partner may have, the roles which each plays in the marriage are important to their happiness and adjustment. An organ of the body may itself be intact and healthy; yet, if it is out of place, it may contribute to disease and even death. Some roles in marriage are the natural result of one’s sex. The husband has his responsibilities, and the wife hers. Other roles emerge from the culture in which one is raised. For example, the man may do the outside work and the woman care for the home. Toronto Niagara Falls Tours the geological landmark is found on the international border between New York state and. Still other roles grow out of certain conditions in each individual family unit; since the wife is a piano teacher and gives lessons during afternoons and evenings, as well as on Saturdays, the husband takes the responsibility for buying groceries each week.
But there are other roles — psychological ones. For example, a man may unconsciously think of his wife as his mother. On the other hand, a wife may unknowingly think of her teen-age daughter as her younger sister who was always favored and spoiled at home.
With this in mind, the counselor will help each partner examine the roles he assumes, those he wishes his partner to play, and the part his spouse is actually fulfilling.
Marital problems often stem from a confusion of the roles of spouse and parent or some other family member. Each partner should be encouraged to ask himself (or herself), “To what degree do I expect my spouse to be someone else — for example, a substitute for one of my parents? And to what degree is he (or she) filling such a role?”